The Silent Time

One- sixth of the new year has 

passed in silence 

on this blog.  

Not, of course, in my life. 

 I told someone that I had nothing to say, 

but that isn't really true.  

There are just some things that seem to have captured my attention and have taken my coherent thoughts from me.

For me, lately, it has been chronic pain.  Sometimes searing, sometimes dull. 

 Always there.  

Enough to bring tears of exhaustion

 and self- pity.  

Enough to bring shame

 and self-reproach. 

Many good things have been happening. 

 A new grandbaby.  

Another on the way. 

Homeschool lessons and music lessons, 

driving lessons and  life lessons........

But this nagging fatigue......

and non-answers from medical tests.......

This spiritual slump 

in the midst of needing to get it together 

because people are

 depending on me...

Even the excitement

 of some new "toys" falls flat 

and I realize that 

something about that is not right...

Perhaps, it is the result of too much winter...

although, I do not dislike winter.

Perhaps, it is the result of too much isolation...

though I see many people each week.

Perhaps, it is just a season that will pass 

if I don't get too caught up in reflection...

Perhaps, it is just physical...

and the temptation to feel like a spiritual wimp 

is really just an excuse 

to give in to lethargy.

Maybe, you've been there. 

 Maybe, you are there now.

Maybe, it is okay to just 

keep walking in silence for a while.

photo scenes from this winter by debbie richardson