NOW THAT WE ARE SIX MONTHS INTO 2018...

So much has changed this year.    Scratch that.....

Change the name of the post from "This Year...2017" to.....

"Now That We Are Six Months Into 2018...".  Ahem.  Okay. Let's do this.

The last time I visited you from here, I'd taken leaves out of the table.  Since then, we've had graduations, relocations, job changes, medical emergencies, life emergencies.......tears, laughter, fear, hope, exhaustion, retreats, doubts, struggles, and bewilderment.

Any of that sound familiar?

My routine completely altered

with the end of a 25 year career as a home educator.

My expectations have constantly been realigning

 to the new realities within our circumstances.

My eyes are often faltering and struggling 

to be focused above on the Lord.

But.  He.  Is.  Faithful.

He. Is. Kind.

When the doubt and darkness overwhelm, remember this dear Christian...

He.  Is.  Good.

Everyone in my house goes to work these days.  

No, that's not exactly right since the "downsizing".....hmm.....oh well......

 I'm still trying to find my way and use the gifts and talents that God has given me. I've been on a very steep learning curve and have often wanted to give up, but there are some big ideas inside of me and I know for sure that if the Lord leads, it will be accomplished. 

 Repeatedly, I am being humbled by the difficulty I'm having learning things that used to be easy for me. 

But whether it is because of age or stress, I'm determined to keep working at it.

 I'm also stepping out into the community as a volunteer and new business owner.

 I'm being forced out of my comfort zone by having to promote myself as an artist and building my website for my new business, WARM HEARTH STUDIO.

 (Right now there are problems with the website...so keep checking back. Please.)

Eventually, 

I see the merging of 

Mom On Assignment 

into the Studio.....

like I said, I have some big ideas...

but, we must all begin 

right where we are.    

Whatever this year has held for you, remember this:

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

 Hebrews 12:3 (ESV)

Just Keep Swimming....

The past three months have been very busy.

The past week has been crazy.

The past three days have been.....

Dying to Love Someone

Human beings never seem to be at a loss in searching for a good love story. 

Delays in the Journey

I have a Motto:    

If you don't do something
 at least twice, 
it just isn't any fun.

Getting Something Done

Yesterday, I spent most of the day

 on the computer.  

That is very rare.

 Usually during the school year, 

the kids are on the computer all day

 doing various assignments.  

Carol of Summer

The month was August.

 I "thought" I was having contractions.

 Turns out,

 I was having a few "mild" ones 

that weren't really doing anything. 

I was ten days past my due date and feeling very irritated. 

I Have Not Disappeared.........

I have just added a new identity.......

I'm a new Grandma.....Grammie.....um, not sure what to call myself.......

I will catch up soon......

I promise.......

The Hinge in the Middle

I was thirty years old and living 

in a hotel in Ohio with my husband 

and three children under the age of ten. 

 It was yet another stage of the journey 

and it was an exciting time. 

All of our belongings were 

in our house in Tennessee. 

We had the essentials with us.....

clothing, school books, 

dolls, cars, building blocks.....

and some diapers and onesies and sleepers......

My parents had the bassinet at their house 

two hours away.

Baby number four would soon be making his appearance and 

we could not find a house to rent.......

Finally, we found a house....

but we could not get it until 

AFTER

 my due date.  

Everyone figured that would be fine 

because I always went

 two weeks past my due date.

In the meantime, 

our eleventh wedding anniversary rolled around and my husband surprised me by arranging for us to renew our vows. 

You need to know that God had moved us 

from Tennessee back to Ohio where we had lived for a couple of years 

and our church family became very dear to us. 

 So, the morning of our anniversary, 

I awoke to realize that I could breathe again

 but could barely walk, 

which is a very good sign for an expectant mama. 

I had visions of renewing our vows and then having a new baby for an anniversary present.

Not God's plan.......

nope.......

an entire month went by........

We moved into an empty rental house and 

I cleaned it. 

Mom and Dad brought over the bassinet. 

Our church family loaned us

 beds, chairs, tables, sofa, lamps....

you name it.....

and then,

 at the two week mark past the due date, 

we went to the hospital.

This little guy had some trouble during labor

 and had to be coaxed here.....

but....

when he was born, 

he was holding on to his umbilical cord. 

We wondered if that was why his heart rate dropped so suddenly and stayed there. 

 Then he ended up in another hospital 

under bili-lights.  

Let's just say that 

his entrance into the world 

was not calm and peaceful.

This child learned to speak 

in complete sentences 

at age one. 

And then, 

when we moved from Ohio 

to the far away state of Louisiana, 

he began making friends.  

Once again, we were living in a hotel.....

with four children and another on the way......

once again, we had left our home and were looking for a new one.

This time, Tommy became the star and 

we all got the very best treatment because of him. 

It is not your average two year old who can hold complete conversations with adults.....

but he could. 

I was always a little leary because I never knew what he would say.  

At the end of our extended three month stay at the hotel, 

the staff gave us a going away party and a gift.

Once, shortly after we moved into our house, 

I was in the check-out line in Walmart. 

I heard his little voice say, 

"Are you a boy or a girl?".  

I heard a man's voice say, 

"Excuse me?"  

And yes, Tommy repeated it....

"Are you a boy or a girl?".

 I turned to see a man with a bandana around his forehead an a very long pony tail.  

He did not seem offended and they struck up a conversation. 

Then I heard my son telling the man that he was having a birthday and this man and his wife should come to the party. 

The man chuckled and said,

"When's your birthday?"  

To which Tommy promptly replied, 

"October 19th.  It never changes."

After the man got control of his laughter, 

he asked Tommy how old he was going to be.  

"I'm two, but I'm fixin' to be five."  

Tommy had already picked up the "fixin' to be" of Louisiana. 

He was, in fact, "fixin' to be" three. 

Tommy kept inviting the man and told him 

at one point that he had,

 "just moved here from Ohio and didn't have our new address memorized yet, but my mom can tell you where we live".  

The man told him that he was a truck driver. 

He didn't think he could make it to the party, 

but he had a gift for him anyway....

and handed Tommy a one-dollar bill.

His verbosity did not always go so well

 with all adults.  

Once, in the same Walmart, 

an employee asked Tommy if he was all ready for Santa Claus to come. 

He looked at her and said,

 "Lady, don't you know Santa Claus isn't real?"  

I got glared at for that one and had to tell him not to tell people that Santa isn't real, 

especially grown-ups because they will get upset.

Being  a smart little kid was not always easy.  Some grown ups did not take him seriously when he asked about scientific things. 

We left one particular hobby shop without a motor he wanted for an airplane he was building. 

All of theirs were too large and

 they just did not understand what he was explaining to them that he wanted to do. 

But he understood they were laughing at him......

he said he would never go there again.  

We went to the local science museum and 

they had just what he was looking for 

and understood 

what he was wanting to build.

Tommy ended up being the

 "hinge" 

in the middle of seven kids. 

Boys as bookends with two girls in-between.

 With the stretch of years between boys, 

I guess they technically are all "first-born sons" according to the birth order books. 

Uniqueness is definitely a trait of middle kids.

He is not a little kid anymore.....

he is on the edge of adulthood......

the future is full of such bright possibilities. 

God has gifted him with an intellect that is very curious about life. 

He has been gifted musically. 

He has been given favor with man.

As I watch him grow and think and challenge his thinking, 

my prayer is

 that he remain

 grounded in the love of Christ.

 Truly, God has protected him,

 not just in the womb, 

but out of it many times. 

The Lord has an amazing plan for each child 

He creates. 

It is such a privilege to be a witness to a young life unfolding in all of its promise.

                                  

  Happy Birthday, Tommy!

A Lesson of Grace

On a hot summer night twenty-one years ago, 

God gave me a baby girl 

who was much prayed over. 

She was the third blessing added to our family

 and I was beginning to learn about a very real, very personal God who cares about the 

tiniest details of my life.

A Goodly Heritage

Today's quote in my Elisabeth Elliot flip calendar says this: 

"A family is a microcosm of the

Family of God, and the same Law of Love governs both."

today is my birthday

I'd like to try to fulfill Exodus 20:12

Fairest Fourteen

I know a fair maiden with long golden hair.

Sounds like the start of an old Irish ballad, doesn't it?  But, this fair maiden is my sweet daughter whose birthday we celebrated just a, ....ahem, a few weeks ago.  Time is slipping past me very quickly and two more fair ladies have celebrated birthdays in the meantime.  

Walking the Path ~ 50 Years and Counting......

 It was the dawn of a new decade. 

One that would bring things into existence that were unheard of at the time. 

A decade of unrest, drugs, free love, rock music, riots, turning patriotism into a four-letter word and throwing God out of the public schools. 

But in one small town, the simple things were still the big things - the important things. 

God, family, hard work.

When Irish Eyes are Smiling

Happy St. Patrick's Day

  Ireland is a magical place in the minds of those whose heritage reaches back in time to the Emerald Isle. 

My roots go back to Northern Ireland ~ Ulster. 

Call Me Cordelia

If you are familiar with Maud Montgomery's 

Anne of Green Gables, 

you will recognize that line.  

After discovering that the Cuthbert's didn't want a girl, but rather a boy, Anne Shirley was asked her name. She replied, "Will you please call me Cordelia?" 

 After which, was a discussion about whether or not that was her name. 

Finally, she reluctantly agreed that they could call her by her real name, Anne, but only if they spelled it with an 'e'.

Cordelia was a "perfectly elegant" name and Anne, was a mere orphan whom nobody wanted. Cordelia was wonderful in Anne's imagination, while Anne, herself, was just plain unromantic 'Anne Shirley'.  

Anyone who has read the books, or seen the movies, knows that there is nothing plain at all about Anne Shirley. 

Still, it was how she felt about herself at the time.  

However, Cordelia, I have read, comes from the Latin and it means 'heart'. 

 Of which Anne's character has an abundance.

Sometimes, a person wants another name. 

 All of my children have gone through phases where they wanted to change their names. 

Sometimes, they change the nicknames we have for them or sometimes they begin introducing themselves to other people by their middle names.  Often, they will use their full given name as a sign of maturity and, sometimes, they have even used the equivalent of their names in another language. 

They are searching for a new, unique identity. 

Not the one given to them by Mom and Dad, 

but their very own. 

The one that describes who they want to be,

 or who they feel that they are.  

A name that shows another part of themselves, that shakes off the sameness of every day...

that lifts a cloud that has lingered too long.

This idea of being "called" another name that is not your own is actually biblical. We see it over and over again in Scripture.  

Lazarus had a sister who was "called" Mary. 

Mary, whose root is mara-which means bitter. Don't miss that one because she is the one who sat at Jesus' feet which was the "better choice".  

There was John, also called Mark, whom we call John Mark or just plain Mark.  

There was Joseph who was called Barnabas because that means "encourager". 

Saul who was called Paul.  

James and John were called the Sons of Thunder- does that name describe them or their father?  

Simon who was called Peter.

 Levi became Matthew. 

Even in the Old Testament,

 God changed names of people. 

Abram became Abraham. 

Sarai became Sarah. 

Jacob became Israel.

In the genealogy of Jesus in the book of Matthew, it reads "...Jesus, who is called the Christ." 

matthew 1:16

And in the book of Acts, we read that "...the disciples were called Christians first at Antioch." acts 11:26

In Revelation, we are told that Jesus has a name that nobody knows yet. 

Isn't that wonderful? 

He has a name that has never been defiled by the mouth of Man. 

revelation3:12 

You are probably called other names besides the one you were given at birth. 

Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Sis, Bubba...

While looking at old family photos I came across one that was labelled 

"Aunt Sister".  

Everyone in the family called her Sister and then it was Aunt Sister...

I thought that was rather odd, but names become part of you.

Your name becomes your identity.....

or your identity becomes your name.......
it depends.....

Lately, I've been thinking I'd rather be called something else...not because I dislike my name but because being me can get tiresome. 

Especially, when difficulties arise and I'd rather not deal with them, or I wish I were a better "me" who knows how to deal with them. 

I know that there is a name that Jesus has for me..a new name, the Bible says.....

and nobody will know it but me.

 revelation 2:17

  

That's exciting to think about....the perfected me, with the perfect name..

...but until then, 

 I can't seem to think of anything that seems to me to be "perfectly elegant" and I'd be afraid to be "called" something that fits my personality or my mood this week....

so, I'll just use one that's already been suggested......

"could you please call me Cordelia?"

Oh, and by the way, there really is a Cordelia in my family tree, so I actually have a claim to use it, don't you think? 

Here she is, (on the left)... don't you love the hat?

photos: sunsets on the north shore of PEI, smoky mountainsTN, family archives (c) deborah richardson

Loving Lainie

She is twelve.    

She is excited to be twelve.   

Twelve means she can ride in the front seat of the car.      

Twelve is almost thirteen.  

Twelve is a milestone.

Twelve is not the number I rest on......it is nine.

Nine and a half to be more exact. 

That's how long I've known her. 

That's when life changed for her and for us. 

She is closer to nine than to twelve and yet I try to balance the chronological age with the age of her understanding....

...it gets more challenging each year.

When I saw her for the first time she was a tiny 2 1/2 year old screaming, head-shaking, under-no-circumstances- do -I- want- anything -to -do -with -these- people scrap of a person with

hair cut too short,

 clothes too small,

 and feverish mosquito bites all over her. 

Non-verbal except for that squawking noise and a few baby babbling words in Russian. 

I wondered what in the world I had gotten myself into. 

 I was soon to find out......

I was an experienced mother of six children.....for sixteen years.......tough cookies, some of them.......but I had never encountered a person who had learned to be a survivor by the age of one......who deciphered her world in bits and pieces....."who knew what she wanted and how to get it" as our interpreter commented......

A child touched by neglect....illness....disabilities....poverty........

one who was picked up and taken from the only world she knew and  put down on the other side of the world into another "orphanage" where nobody did anything the way she was used to or spoke the language she had learned to interpret......

for "orphanage" was what we were to her for a long time, 

I am sure of that.

I remember telling her over and over that I was her Mama.....

but in the orphanage, 

every woman is called Mama.

I had to re-direct and claim my personal possession of her...

"you are MY girl......you stay with ME".....

over and over...."look at Me......look in My eyes".

I remember watching every odd behavior and trying to figure out if it was neglect, fetal alcohol, orphanage behavior,

 or just her personality.

I remember thinking that I was not ready for this assignment.

I was failing.

And then, I found it.  

The newsletter from a ministry that we'd supported. 

They had played a side role, but a large  one in our adoption.

 I had saved it because we had sent money for baby formula. 

There had been no milk for the babies and they had been feeding them sugar water. 

As I read the letter of thanks from the missionary, (a woman I now knew and had visited in her 'flat'- who was a big part of our adoption), she described the children who were helped.  

She listed the locations of the orphanages where the formula, "the best money could buy", had been sent.  Listed among them was one I recognized. 

I had been there.....in that "baby house"....

with the director, a physician, who mixed up her own medicines because they had none....

with the workers who had loved Leanichka......

who were washing all the clothes by hand because their only washing machine was broken.....

who had cried tears of gratitude over the instant oatmeal we left because they had nothing to feed the children for breakfast......

This had been one of the orphanages to receive the baby formula before we'd even known we were adopting. 

 What was the date of the letter?

  Wait.  

When did Lainie get there?  

No way. 

Couldn't be. 

Yes......it was true..........she had just gotten there when that baby formula was delivered.  

Before we thought about adopting and before the amazing series of events that ended with her in our home, we fed her. 

Because there was no milk for babies, we sent money......before she was even there, it was purchased and after she had just gotten there, it was delivered........

He had prepared the way........

the path we were now walking in...

even the path I stumbled in.........

through my questions and my tears, 

He had already been there....

Today she is twelve.

She is no longer a screaming, manipulating little scrap of a girl shaking her head at the speed of her no's.

She is a pretty girl who loves Jesus and loves reading her Bible even though it is a painstaking process to de-code every word of the third grade level translation. 

She works very hard to learn and to remember things. 

She practices words and keeps trying even when her tongue tangles up the speech sounds. 

She wants to be "big" and learn to do "grown-up" things like cooking and knitting.  

She enjoys doing her PT exercises to strengthen weak muscles that are causing her back to curve in scoliosis. 

She loves writing letters and calling her friends on the phone. 

She loves the teasing over the fact that she might have "turkey cake" or that everyone will be too full of Thanksgiving dinner to eat birthday cake. 

She laughs when we tell her that she used to think Thanksgiving was a holiday in honor of her birthday.

We are still walking down that path that He has set before us. 

I, fearful at times and unsure of the outcome, 

and she, trusting, holding my hand and running eagerly ahead. 

 I don't know the time she was born. 

I do not know what she has been through.....

but I know that He was there.....

and is there......

teaching me about what real love is all about. 

 That love is an action and not a feeling. 

That love is of Him. 

Agape.

Today she is twelve.

It is a milestone, indeed.