when you want to disappear.........

I have wanted to disappear.

Into the mist.....

Out of my troubles.......

Turn inward. 

Focus on only the necessary.

Leave these virtual pages 

as sort of a phase I went through...

a whim...

something I could not complete.

He Who Has Ears, Let Him Hear

I received an email from my third-born, 

recently married college daughter. 

She sent photos of a project that she and some classmates did in Biology II about the ear. They made a clay sculpture and had drawings and a paper to accompany it. 

As a teacher, I was impressed. 

As a mom, I was encouraged.

She was my first to be "totally homeschooled". 

A New Year of Gratitude

I'm a little late in announcing 

the birth of a New Year, 

but I am sure it has found you without my help.  

Others have jumped right on it with vigor and promise and I have stayed back in the lull between Christmas and this Newness of 2010.

The married kids have come and gone.  The house is still in a state of in-between with decorations in boxes still piled around and bedding waiting its turn in the washing machine.

I'm feeling the lull.

Not exactly sad to see the old year go and not exactly eager for the new one to come. I know I'd better get busy because "real life" starts in earnest tomorrow.

And so I'm here without any energetic pep talks to offer you, but I do realize that it is Monday.  Monday isn't more special than any other day, but a few months ago, 

I found a challenge over at A Holy Experience   written by Ann Voskamp . 

Her challenge was to write down

each gift with gratitude.

1. salvation

2. kids climbing trees

3. too many books

4. doctors

5. husband who loves me

                                   

each one numbered

                                   6. pot of beans for supper

                            7. found: important papers

                            8. freedom

                            9. xrays and ct scans

                            10. grandparents

  Big or small

    11. shopping with hannah

   12. lunch at mcalisters

   13. husbands who call and check on you

   14. coffee

   15. freedom to worship

                                            especially the small

                                              16. kids who love family traditions

                                     17. abundance of food

                                     18. children laughing

                                     19. warm houses

                                     20. married children

and so I have attempted

21. my husband

22. the Holy Spirit who gives guidance, wisdom and comfort

23. grace

24. forgiveness

25. leftover lunch creations

26. physical therapists

27. little girl laughter

28. kids who clean kitchens to surprise me

29. music classes for my kids

30. homeschool support groups

and will say so here....

31. a car to drive

32. medicine

33. missionaries

34. music

35. a warm house

36. hot soup

37. medicine to help the pain

38. laundry rooms - even small ones

39. new ideas for Christmas gifts

40. crock pots

 and offer the challenge to you...

41. house decked out for christmas

42. musical inspirations

43. snow boots for everyone

44. baby noises

45. young families loving God and homeschooling their children

46. homeschool mom groups that support each other

47. hah friends who pray

48. everyone together for Christmas

49. mess to clean up after everyone leaves

50. reminders that family is important

51. long-distance calls from friends

52. husbands who sacrifice comfort and time to provide

53. grace

And focusing not on Past nor Future, but on Him who doeth all things well,  will chase the grayness away and give a purpose for my life which is built on many small things sanctified by the One who gives them....and feeds the multitudes.

Grasping Gratitude: a desperate act

disappointment.

decisions.

disillusion.

depression.

death.

disabilities.

disorders.

disease.

these are things that we face every day.....they come unbidden.......      unwelcome.......      unwanted.......

How are we to deal with these things? What are we to do?

Analyze? Synthesize? Anesthetize? Sympathize?

I have pondered and prayed..... considered the truth that how we think and act are intertwined.......considered that gratitude leads to greatness of faith......and decided that it is necessary to obey God's command to give thanks even if one does not feel thankful at that particular moment......because the alternative is bitterness. 

I will write down my things to be grateful for......thankful for......no matter how small......small things are easily overlooked and they make up the bulk of my life anyway, so why miss life waiting for something large to be thankful for?

The large things are obvious.......salvation, husband, children, home, food, family......

....the small ones, not so much....

.....remembering the sound of that letter........pronouncing that word correctly.......ability to bend a finger that might have to remain crooked.......the loan of an exercise ball for therapy......children who love each other....grandparents who go out of their way to help...

stopping. noticing. writing it down.

I'd like to say it was my idea. I'd even like to say that when it was introduced to me, I jumped right on it and said, "what a great idea".  But no. I think that when you are dealing with the "hard things" so often, it becomes sorta like looking into a microscope. You see things that others can't see....but you have to see them and deal with them......you forget that if you step back from that microscope you can see the whole object in a different perspective.

That is how gratitude becomes a desperate act......it is necessary for survival....for life........for abundance.

It is not easy to "see" things to be thankful for.......but with practice, it becomes easier.......natural......nay, supernatural....because it forces you outside of yourself. 

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped.  My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

 Psalm 28:7 NIV