15 August 2014

Dying to Love Someone

Human beings never seem to be at a loss in searching for a good love story. 

Love seems to be the thing everyone is seeking.  There are books about it. 
There are television programs and movies about it.

 There are companies of every variety promising to find that perfect person for you.  

There are news reports about love going wrong.  

There seem to be several cable television channels devoted to the topic of 
love going disastrously wrong. 

No matter how independent we think we have become, we still seem to need other people to show us that we matter.

Love, in media, 
is either perfect or unattainable.....
fought for and won....
or ...given and taken away........
I have rarely read a book or watched a movie without some version of a love interest.

Even imaginary, non-living beings need love according to the movie industry....
from Twilight  to Cars.....
we get the message that love is important. 

 We are told that something is lacking if we
 don't have someone to love....
and more importantly....
to love us back.

as defined by Culture, 
is selfish. 

 Love, as defined by God, 
is sacrificial.

I think that is why,
 when we are told a story where someone gives themselves up for another person...
or several persons, 
we shake our heads and think, 
"Wow. What a hero."

giving your life for another person is just not what we are wired to do.  

From the moment of our birth, 
we are wired for survival. 

 But human babies cannot survive alone.   

We are born needy.

Whether we are born needing a team of medical professionals and machines to keep us alive, 
or a single person to see that
 we are fed and cared for, 
we cannot survive on our own.

We are born selfish. 
 Any parent can attest to this. 
 This self-centered being seems to become 
bigger than life when the crying
 won't stop at three in the morning. 

 But, our selfishness serves us as infants.....
our selfishness is truly a cry
 for someone to come and feed us...
or change us....
or hold us.

 An infant can't really force anyone to care for it.  So it is the sacrifice of someone else, 
that allows us to grow and to thrive.....
to live.  

The weary parents who stay up and 
rock the baby....
who check on the toddler...
the nurses and doctors in the NICU....
 all sacrifice their time and their own wants and needs to tend to someone who cannot,
live without them.

Sometimes, though,
 the normal way of things gets broken.  

Sometimes, nobody comes when the baby cries.  

Nobody changes the diapers.  
Nobody makes sure the baby is fed.  
The baby learns not to cry because 
no one will come. 

No need to ask for food, 
because no one will feed you.  
No need to ask for anything really, 
just figure it out or go without.

The inborn ability to connect and bond with another person is misplaced.
 We have modern day terminology
 for people like that.  
We say they have "attachment disorders". 

 Some are severe and their families
 can attest to the fear and fatigue associated with trying to love and parent a child with such an extreme lack of trust. 

 Others are more subtle, not noticed by most people.....but hurtful just the same if you are the one who is never going to be favored by your child's attention and affection.

The realization that you cannot give your child what you know they deeply need, 
a human connection, 
is frustrating.....and it is even hurtful.  

It is something that you grieve. 
It is something that you fight. 
It is something that must, ultimately, be accepted.
Because parenting is not about the warm fuzzy feelings we get when we cuddle with our children and we know-- that they know--
that we love them.  

Because, sometimes, the "knowing" gets separated from the "feeling".

If you have no idea what I am trying to describe here, be thankful.
But to the rest of us....we have to remember that 

Love is not a feeling. 
 Love is an action. 

 Love is doing what is best for another person even when it hurts....
hurts badly.

Broken hearts and broken spirits and broken minds do not get the final say in this world.

One day all will be set right. 
 God binds up the broken-hearted.  
He renews minds.  
He restores souls.

And, when we feel disconnected from those whom we love.....
we must remember that a child of God is always loved by an Everlasting Love. 

The Bible says that.  

It is true.

Jesus knows.

He was rejected by men. 
 Despised.  Scorned. Ignored.  Insulted.
Betrayed. Abandoned.

Yet, He still Loved us despising the shame.
We must fix our eyes on Him and do the same whether we ever get the affection we desire from others or not.

Because, the need to feel loved by another person is real.  

Sometimes, though, we forget that 
Perfect Love is always there...
 He is a Person.....
His name is Jesus.  

See,  He is the One that your heart is longing for.

He is the only One who can love you perfectly. 

He is the One who can love those broken people
 through you.  

He knows the sting of love that is not returned by family and friends. 

These broken hearts can be restored and made new......even if we don't see it on this side of heaven.

In the meantime,  
"Perfect Love drives out fear."
 1john 4:18

He is walking this road with you. 

He has walked ahead of you.

He is beside you.

And He will come up behind you to pick you up when you can't walk anymore.

You can love your child,
 without your heart breaking, 
when you let Him love them through you.

When you die to yourself and decide to love without expecting anything in return, 

then you have found the key to freedom. 

 Jesus loves you.  

He died for you.  

If you are safely in His loving care, 
He will never cast you out.  
You can bond with Him. 

He has promised to meet your every need.

Every. Single. Time. 

Attachment Disorder is not a problem for Him.  
He attached your sins to Himself.  
He attached Himself to you.  

As a believer, you are in Christ.... 
He is in the Father...... 
He and the Father are One.

I have loved you with an everlasting love; 
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
Jeremiah 31:3niv


  1. I love your words, "Love,
    as defined by Culture,
    is selfish.

    Love, as defined by God,
    is sacrificial."

    Thank you for sharing! I'm your neighbor at the Christian Blog Exchange. ~gina

  2. So beautiful! I love this,

    "Attachment Disorder is not a problem for Him.
    He attached your sins to Himself.
    He attached Himself to you."

    Such an amazing image. Thank you for sharing!

  3. This is sooo beautifully said!!!

    Thanks so much for sharing on this week's Mom 2 Mom Link Up Party! Hope you come join us again soon :)

    Rachael @ Diamonds in the Rough